


Superman Is Wearing Glasses Today

by misura



Category: Nightside Series - Simon R. Green
Genre: Community: smallfandomfest, Gen, Journalism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-17
Updated: 2013-03-17
Packaged: 2017-12-21 20:49:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/904768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>John grinned. "I think that's called 'journalistic integrity'."</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"I think that's called 'seriously pissing off someone who can be seriously scary when he tries'," said Cathy.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Superman Is Wearing Glasses Today

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kaishiro15](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaishiro15/gifts).



> prompt: _John & Cathy, John and Cathy work together to write about their encounters with the people of the Nightside._

" 'Coming Next Week: Exclusive Interviews by John Taylor'," read Cathy out loud. "Those jerks. What, I don't count? I'm just a secretary?"

"A secretary with a hangover that's making her crabby?" John wisely didn't say. Instead, he opted for: "I'm sure Julien had his reasons." He also chose not to mention that Cathy would be guest-writing the daily gossip column, not putting together any kind of 'exclusive interviews'.

"I guess. Well, I'm not going to have a little thing like this stop me from having fun."

"Nothing could possibly do that."

"Damn right," said Cathy. "You seem pretty happy, too, by the way. By which I mean you might outgloom Alex when he's having a good day. A very good day."

"It's not that bad," protested John.

"You should be glad he settled for exclusive interviews _by_ you," said Cathy. "He might have demanded exclusive interviews _with_ you, and then where would you be?"

"Hiding in the deepest hiding hole I could find? Not that Julien wouldn't track me down eventually." John sighed. "Sometimes, I think Julien's network is even better than Walker's. Maybe it's because he's so much more nice and polite about bullying people. They talk to Walker because they're scared of him, but people talk to Julien because he's a good guy and they respect him, even if they don't like him. Although they do that, too, most of the time."

"I know you do," said Cathy. "Me, I don't just like him; I love him. A real gentleman. Quite handsome, too, and very charming, but not in a slimey, sleazy way. Do you know how rare that is?"

"You don't think I'm charming?"

"Not particularly. Don't take it personally; it's just that I think of you as family," said Cathy. "And I think family should always be honest with each other."

"Thanks."

"Anyway, it's only fair you do a bit of work for him. I mean, you did cost him his best columnist."

"It was an accident," protested John. "He was just supposed to talk his way inside and get a good look around, not get himself taken hostage."

The _Nightside Times_ 's regular gossip columnist, Argus of the Thousand Eyes, was currently staying in a very secret location, recovering from some very nasty injuries he/she had gotten while helping out John on one of his recent cases, when things had gotten unexpectedly messy. The injuries hadn't really been John's fault, and so Julien Advent, the editor of the _Nightside Times_ and Argus's boss, had been very kind and understanding about the whole thing, as well as utterly adamant that John would have to perform some act of compensation.

Argus had only come along because Julien had asked him to, after all, as a favor to John. And the _Times_ did need its gossip column. News alone didn't sell papers.

Volunteering Cathy to dredge up some juicy rumors and write them up into a column had seemed like a brilliant idea, at the time, and not just because it wouldn't cost John any time he could have spent doing something more useful (although that entered into it, too, naturally). Cathy would be good at it.

Unfortunately, Julien hadn't been quite satisfied with only getting a replacement for Argus. He'd wanted something more. Something extra. Something that would have people sit up and notice that the _Nightside Times_ was still there, and going strong.

Cathy sighed. "I probably shouldn't even tell people I'm doing this. They might stop talking to me, and then what would I write about?"

"I'm sure it wouldn't be that bad," said John.

"Boss, are you kidding me? Even _I_ wouldn't talk to a gossip columnist, and I'm always happy to talk to _anyone_. Well, anyone except a gossip columnist. Or a tax inspector. Or a lawyer. Or Walker, when you've done something to annoy him again."

"That's most of the time."

"Trust me, I'd noticed. It must be your winning personality."

"Some people just haven't got any sense of humor," said John.

"If that was all it was, the two of you should be getting along like a house on fire."

"My sense of humor is just fine, thank you. But speaking of Walker - "

Cathy snorted and shook her head. "No way in Hell you'd get him to talk to you right now, boss. Not if it's for the _Times_."

John grinned. "I hadn't planned on telling him in advance. I think that's called 'journalistic integrity'."

"I think that's called 'seriously pissing off someone who can be seriously scary when he tries'," said Cathy. "And anyway, he already called and left a message three days ago, to let you know that, quote, in view of your recent career change, unquote, he's not going to be available to talk to you."

"Julien only dumped this thing on me two days ago."

"Gosh. Do you think that maybe Walker knew he was going to do that before you did?"

"Two things," said John. "One: leave the sarcasm to me, please. Two, leave the clever deductions to me, too, please. I'm the private investigator around here, after all."

"Sorry. I understand. I didn't mean to make you feel completely and utterly superfluous."

"Well, it's not like I'm going to have a lot of time for cases the coming month. If he likes my first piece, I'm going to have a talk with Julien about a salary."

Cathy blinked, then looked faintly uncomfortable. John frowned.

"It's not _that_ much," she said quickly. "Although of course I get to declare expenses and stuff. But they were very strict about my only being allowed to buy a new outfit every other day, including shoes. No handbag, though."

"You never carry those anyway."

"Still. It's the thought that counts," said Cathy firmly. "But really, boss, what's the big deal? You know plenty of people. Just ask one of them out for lunch, have a nice chat, write the whole thing up, and there you are. I know just the place for lunch, too. Nothing ever happens there; it's totally boring. Very popular with all the old people who just want to sit down, have a cup of weak tea and complain about their little aches and the moral state of today's youth."

"I'm not exactly old."

"More like ancient, on some days," agreed Cathy. "Age is a state of mind as much as a number."

"That doesn't sound fair. Anyway, I already tried to get a hold of some people. A lot of people, actually."

"Oh."

"Pew said he'd be happy to sit down with me and discuss the state of people's souls. Mine in particular, of course. Everyone else just told me they were too busy. Or out of town. Or incapable of eating lunch, due to not having a working digestive tract. Or a mouth."

"Oh," said Cathy, again. "Well ... "

"No," said John. "I respect Pew and his work, but I don't want to tempt him to try to kill me. Someone might get hurt. Me, for example."

"Sounds like you haven't really got any other choice."

"I suppose I haven't," said John.

 

_Private eyes come in all shapes and sizes, and none of them look like television stars. Some do insurance work, some hang around cheap hotels with camcorders hoping to get evidence for divorce cases, and damn few ever get to investigate complicated murder mysteries. Some chase things that don't exist, or shouldn't._

_Me, I find things. Sometimes I'd rather not find them, but that comes with the territory._

 

("John," said Julien, "are you sure you want us to run this? Thanks to Miss Barrett, we're more than well provided for in the gossip department. It might hurt us a bit if we print a retraction, especially after all the hubbub we generated about this, but nothing we can't handle.")

("I'm sure," said John. "Run it. Put the truth out there, and to Hell with whoever doesn't like it.")


End file.
